Squishy, Orders & TriCare

Well, my little Squishy started her last year of preschool today.  It was bitter sweet for me.  She is so precious.  I really hate that daddy missed it.  I am not sure what she was more excited about, the lunch box with Dora on it or the new dress mommy made her.  I know, I know the dress is long.  I have a very good reason for this.  My Squishy loves to wear dresses, but she also does not pay attention to the fact that she is showing off her panties every time she sits down or plays.  I figured I could meet her in the middle.  She could wear dresses as long as they were long enough for her to cover up those panties, even when she is playing.  During the winter, I figure we can just put on tights and a long sleeve shirt and TA-DA, we have a winter outfit.

So My DH got his official orders today for deployment.  I knew it was coming, but it really hit me to see it in black and white.  The orders are for longer than I have though they would be too and that was a shocker.  I guess there is no turning back now and I pray that God will be here with me.

I had my little crying spell then I moved on to sign up for Tricare.  I am not happy about the fact that I have to change my primary doctor while DH is gone.  I love my primary doctor.  She has seen me though a lot and always ask how I am doing.  She also sees my DH and so she knows us both.  She can tell when I am upset or happy.  I always joke with her because I will never need a therapist as long as I have her.  Oh well, I have to change.  They are not participants with Tricare Prime.  I am out of the area from a Military base, so why cant I keep my doctor.  I am really not happy about this at all, but what can I do?

Hurricane and training

I am sorry that I have not posted in a while.  My family lives in Eastern North Carolina and we just had a fight with Hurricane Irene.  We just got power back last night.  I texted my DH this morning and told him that we FINALLY had power and he said that is wonderful, we don't!  He is training in New Jersey.  They are having a lot of down time right now.  I know that there is not much you can do without power.  It is amazing how spoiled we are.

On another note, the three kids have been in Raleigh with a friend until we got power back on.  I know that DH is missing them, but man oh man I am missing them so much too.  I cannot wait until they get home today.  I have to take Squishy to open house at her pre-school.  I am so excited for her to start pre-k then everyone will be in school and we can finally start with a real routine.

I do miss my DH, but part of me is relieved that he is gone.  Is that terrible of me?  I guess I am just ready to get things started on the new "temporary" life and get into a set routine.

Am I a bad Mommy?

So today was the first day of 1st grade for Buggy and I did not take a picture of her.  I just totally forgot.  With everything that was going on this morning I just forgot.  I know that I should of remembered, but I did not write it down.  I guess that was the problem.  I have a terrible memory!  I have to make lists for everything. 

My DH leave us next week for a month and I am going to try and post every day and take pictures so that he can follow along with our lives although he will not be here.  So much happens in a day that I just forget to tell him about it on the phone.  I am really hoping that this can be one of the avenues that we can stay in touch with him while he is gone.  Honestly, I think it will also keep me in check and and help me realize that he is still a very important part of "us" even if he is not physically here. 

Is my DH pregnant?

My DH has been a crazy man with the project's list around the house lately.  It was only after reading the Surviving Deployment book that I realized that he is doing what women do they are pregnant.  We nest.  We want to make sure that everything that can be done before that baby comes is done.

Honestly I think it is kind of funny.  Now that I understand what is going on I am better with it.  In the beginning I was thinking, "How could be focus so much on this stuff.  He needs to be focused on me and kids!"  I now know that he is thinking of us.  He is trying his very best to make sure that Murphy's Law does not happen at our house while he is gone.  I do know that he cannot prevent things from going wrong once he is gone, but at least he is putting a good effort forward to make sure that the projects are actually completed before he leaves.  I really love him for putting the extra effort forward for us.

My DH leaves us for a month next week for some pre-mobilization training and I am going to miss him so much.  We have been talking with the small kids about him leaving.  They seem to be ok, but you know that small ones do not have a concept of time, so I expect a full melt down after day 4 or 5.  I will keep you posted.

My Family

I thought it was time for me to formally introduce you guys to my DH and our DD's (dear daughters). 

I know that when DH sees this picture he is going to kill me, but this picture sums up his personality so well.  This was taken during our Anniversary trip in March of 2011.  He is so funny and whenever I am down he can always make me laugh.

Here is my first born, ReRe.  She is going to be 16 very soon and it scares me to death.

This is our June Bug.  She just turned 6.

And last but not least, this is Squishy!  She is so Hollywood!

Another Book Plug...Surviving Deployment: A Guide for Military Families

In case you have not figured it out yet, I am a reader.  I was not always a reader. My daughter got me into reading when she was reading the Twilight series.  I had heard so many conflicting reports about whether or not they were good books for your teen to read that I decided the best way to know was to read them myself.  I was hooked.  I read through all of them in lightening speed. 

So anyway, back to this book I am reading now, Surviving Deployment: A Guide for Military Families.  This deployment is coming up faster than I ever thought it would.  I have been searching for support.  My DH is in the Reserves, we do not live near the Unit, nor do we live near a Military base, so there is little support for us.  Our Yellow Ribbon day was supposed to be in July, however it is not scheduled for October.  This is too close to deployment time and I do not like being unprepared.  So anyway, here I go getting off on a tangent again...

The book, I found on one of my favorite websites, http://www.paperbackswap.com/, and it has been a God-send.  This book has explained so much and for a first timer of deployment, I think this is going to become my guide.  It was like it was written about us.  The emotional roller coaster that we are on was described to a "T".  I continue to read this book and pray that it will help me through all of this.

Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul

I love reading and I also love audio books.  I have just started listening to this new audio book called, Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul , and may I say that it is such a relief that I am not the only woman in the world that feels like I am never good enough.  I struggle to keep it all together.  I am not even sure if I would say struggle.  The truth is, I do not keep it together at all.  Do not think that you can come to my home and eat off my floors ever.  I have always told myself that it is ok for my house to be messy, because I have kids, right...?  Truth is I am not ok with it.  I would love to not work and be the wife and mother that I know I need to be.  I just do not know how women balance it all, work, school, kids, laundry, sports, etc.  I am really struggling here.  Any suggestions?

Rules I never knew...OPSEC Rules for blogs, forums and chat

Here I am just weeks from deployment and my DH's Unit has not shared any "sharing rules" with us at all.  So here are the OPSEC Rules for all Military familys.

OPSEC Rules for blogs, forums and chat

Operations Security can’t be summed up in a brief list of rules and regulations and be expected to cover every possible situation. However, many forum, blogs and chat rooms need to set certain standards and guidelines in order to promote good OPSEC practices. These guidelines are often referred to as “OPSEC Rules”, and must be acknowledged before an account is created.
This article will provide a basic set of OPSEC rules for free, unrestricted use on any site or forum. Please note that this is not an inclusive list, and should be modified to fit the requirements on the medium. Please note that these OPSEC rules are primarily directed towards Military sites, but it may be modified to fit any other application.

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OPSEC Rules for (forum, blog, chatroom name):

1. Do not post exact deployment dates or redeployment dates
2. Do not reveal camp locations, including nearby cities. After the deployment is officially announced by Military officials, you may discuss locations that have been released, normally on the Country level.
3. Do not discuss convoy routes (“we travelled through Takrit on our way to X”)
4. Detailed information on the mission, capabilities or morale of a unit
5. Specific names or actual nicknames
6. Personnel transactions that occur in large numbers (Example: pay information, powers of attorney, wills, etc)
7. Details concerning security procedures, response times, tactics
8. Don’t discuss equipment or lack thereof, to include training equipment
9. Don’t speculate about future operations
10. If posting pictures, don’t post anything that could be misconstrued or used for propaganda purposes. A good rule of thumb is to look at your picture without your caption or explanation and consider if it could be re-captioned to reflect poorly on coalition forces. For example, your image might show your Soldier rescuing a child from a blast site, but could be re-captioned to insinuate that the child being captured or harmed. (it’s happened!)
11. Avoid the use of count-up or count-down tickers for the same reason as rule #1
12. Be very careful if posting pictures of your loved one. Avoid images that show significant landmarks near their base of operations, and black out last names and unit affiliations
13. Do not, ever, post information about casualties (coalition or enemy) before the official release of the information.
14. Do not pass on rumors (“I heard they’re coming home early”, etc)

If you have any questions, contact your (or your sponsor’s) unit OPSEC manager.
These OPSEC rules aren’t meant to limit your free speech or restrict your liberties- that’s exactly what our Men and Women in uniform fight to protect. However, they are designed to help ensure the safety and security of the Service Members in your life.
Remember, no matter your affiliation, status, rank or age- you have a part in the security of your loved one!

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Thank you Military SOS for pointing this out to me.

Emotional Roller Coaster

Deployment is getting closer and closer and my emotions are all over the place.  The DH is deploying in less than 90 days and 30 of those he is going to be training.  I really do not know how people do this.  Is there any real support out there for the Army Reserve wives like me.  How can we hold the homefront together if we are falling apart?

Advice anyone?

I have been taking some time for me lately and I have to say that I am not really sure if I am more or less enlightened.  There have been a lot of changes in my life lately and I am just not sure how to deal.  My husband is really worried about me and I really do not want him to be, but I just do not know where to go or what to do. 

I think a big reason that I continue with this blog is because I can be honest.  I do not have to shield my feelings, since I do not think anyone is actually reading it anyway.  It is somewhere that I can be totally open and I think for me right now, that is a good thing.

My husband is deploying in about three months or so and there are still so many things up in the air.  It makes me nervous that he is taking care of all of this very important paperwork without me.  I am not really sure how the Armed Forces thinks this is a good idea to shut out the spouse in a time like this.

I just do not get it.