Does anyone in my life understand?

I really have to wonder, does anyone in my life know the crap I am going through right now.  I am ill, cranky, hurt, depressed, lonely and so many other feelings that I just cannot express.  This is the hardest thing I have ever done and I am really doubting that I have what it takes to get through this.  I am so snappy, that I do not even want to be around me.  I just do not know what to do or where to turn.

I have not heard from my DH at all this week other than about one line a day on my instant messenger.  I NEED him and I NEED to talk to him.  It is like we live on two different planets totally cut off from each other. Now do not get me wrong, I assume he must be going through a lot too.  It just seems that he does not even care what we are going through here.

When he was away at training, I was fine, so why is this so terrible.  The only thing that is different is the lack of communication.  He has internet, a wireless ipod touch, phone cards and a new phone with a global plan that he can contact me with, so what is it.  It must be me.

I am in such a dark place right now, that I just do not know how I am going to get out of this.  I am not sure there is anything darker.  I just do not know what to do or how to begin.  I need him so desperately.  I need for him to communicate with me.  I just do not get it and if I do not get it then I know that nobody else would get it either.

I desperately need help here.  I just do not know if I can take another day of this.